It’s been a while since an update and for that I apologise. I heard last week was Moby Dick’s 161st anniversary. I seriously empathise with one of the lead characters, Capt Ahab who is chasing the whale who is his arch-nemesis. I feel like I am chasing my dreams of NOT LIVING AT HOME and they are just not coming to fruition as soon as I would like. Not because I am not trying but because there are obstacles in my way. Case in point, there are dividends that I receive as part of shares my parents got me when I was younger. I cashed those in this year, hoping to have some money available to move out and buy a car, and start planning a London holiday.
My mum really hates that I went against the grain and started my own business. Some of my siblings do as they are told, almost by military order by my mum but I really wanted to try and entrepreneurial thing and see if I could make it work. She does not understand me and never will – she doesn’t understand that giving me a European education should help me immensely in trying to make this business work but instead she wants me to get a bog standard job where I might not even make a £1,000 per month in Tanzanian shillings.
I know, mind boggling.
Last week, there was drama as usual where she was trying to force me to leave my business, my office and get a job. Not going to happen. So then she tries to impose limits on me financially – she took my dividend money for some project she is doing in her village, she took 25% of it and now she claims that her paying for my Masters education was a loan and she wants it paid back. (All £22K of it).
Paying back the Masters education even though I was never told it was a loan = whatever, I will do whatever to get her off my back.
But how can she take dividend money that is mine? It is in my name, and it’s mine. I know what it is about, and I have heard about other horror stories about how some African parents use money as this way to control their children or family members and I can tell my mum does exactly that. She uses money as a way to keep people down, not to build them up so they can be happy. Coincidentally, my older sister didn’t get any dividend money taken away I heard on the grapevine because she has a child…
There is a possibility that my family might see this blog since there are snitches everywhere in Tanzania who get involves in things which do not concern them. I am kind of passed caring; I feel so harassed by her that I am never at home anyway and I am always at the office, or drinking with friends in bars or going for walks around Dar-es-Salaam taking pictures.
Couple the stress of this family situation with the guy I am dating, it has been a really stressful 2 week period. I am just not happy at home and I am being made to pay so much for the house when I barely get any use out of the house, which again cripples me from being able to move out.
African families use money as a crutch to keep children and other family members from being able to be individuals – this is why that collective mentality thrives because money tends to be centralised like a bank.
No one knows my entire financial situation at home and it’s better that way because when I move out, I am never going back.