I think one of the biggest fallacies and therefore the biggest jokes of living back in African society is this idea of collectivism. Tanzania suffered hard for Nyerere’s egomaniac views on how we should all be one big happy families of citizens.
This definitely impacted on how I have been living my life here because I feel like there are massive double standards in how family units (including mine) operate when it comes to money. I think for me, the biggest thing which has singlehandedly been the most disappointing is how my mum has treated my contributions to the family home.
There has been this kind of systematic ”you have to contribute even though you do but i will make you feel like you don’t”-ism when I have been contributing substantially to the family home for more than 1 year. There was a period of time when it was just me and my mum living at home – she hired a new driver for the house, and I was paying his salary as well as laying down money for the household food budget.
I feel like my mum does not appreciate me and what I do for the house, which I personally think has included in making it more streamlined.
This has been extremely stressful for me to be honest and one of the main reasons why I want to move out but I can’t save as much as I want if I have to pay for the household things that me and other family members use all the time.
Honestly, the stress that living at home has brought me has reached a fever-pitch. I only wish my late father was here so I could talk to him about it.
I don’t feel like my mum cares about how I feel and how I am because everything is always centred on other people in the family. Money just exacerbates the problem because it acts as a symbol as why I feel so much discord and resentment about living at home.