This past few days have been horrendous but there is a little light at the end of the tunnel (maybe). I do have the option of resubmitting and I can appeal against the decision too. I am grateful my family are supporting me emotionally and my friends too. Thanks to everyone who has left nice messages of support.
The past few months in general have also been horrific. Been a subject of bullying, staying at friends houses, desperate to find a job and then finally finding one, only to have this ma issue make me stagger. It has been horrendous.
It is made particularly painful for me in that I really have fallen in love with the man of the protected posts and he likes someone else. Being in a love triangle is deeply painful while dealing with all of this stress.
I am desperate to get over him and I know I need to focus but it is so painful when all I want is to sort out my MA stuff and be with him.
I have a silly fantasy that in a few years time, I will be successful and financially secure and I will be wearing a mini-dress when I get him. Silly and pathetic I know. Just feeling so low right now and this unrequited love thing does not help. He told me he likes the other girl, but is confused as to what to do about his feelings for her.
Because he used to like me in the past when I didn’t return the feelings, I feel like the universe is giving me karma or something. I’m in love with someone I can’t have yet all I want is the best for him, but I get the impression he just wants nothing to do with me even as friends.
I’m going home now.