Was This A Mistake?


There is something I haven’t divulged about the Stamp Man situation.

And I think I made a massive mistake. I haven’t even told my friend’s because I am really embarrassed…

Prior to going to Paris, it was my mother’s birthday and she came to London for the weekend. It was great. I texted SM to say that I was going away to Paris. He texted me back saying he is sorry he went AWOL and that he hoped I had a good time with my mum.

I thought…okay.

When I came back from Paris, I really was determined to forget all about him and not text him. Can’t say I stuck to that promise because during a weak moment in my house, I texted him to ask how he was. I didn’t get an answer for a few days.

**This is too embarrassing to admit but…**

The lack of reply just…disappointed me. I thought he was someone who could have been a nice friend, because how he had come across. So finally, I just sent him another text just to say that in all honesty, I did like him and that I hoped he had a good time at university, but that I wouldn’t be spamming him anymore.

He replied to me saying “Hey it’s nothing personal but I have been really ill”. He went on to say he hadn’t been to lectures in a whole week etc. I texted him back wishing him to get better and that was that. I haven’t heard from him since and I don’t expect to.

My question is was it a mistake to tell the guy that I liked him? I found this interesting thing online about asymettry in relationships:

By telling his guy how much you liked him, while being honest, it probably also reflected an asymmetry (you liked him more than he liked you). Such asymmetries often scare people away. The implicit logic goes like this: If you like me so much, but I don’t like you as much, perhaps you are not my equal, and therefore, I can and should date someone better than you.
Source

I feel like the quote above is very true.

I feel embarrassed that I was getting too into him and showing that to him, but I am not embarrassed that I had a crush on him.

It’s hard to put into words, but my relationship with my ex boyfriend devastated me and my standards for relationships became so low. I didn’t have a relationship with SM that’s true, but I think what this has taught me is not to wear my heart on my sleeve, because some men will take advantage of that and use the situation to hurt you.

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6 thoughts on “Was This A Mistake?

  1. It is not a big deal.

    I don’t think you should feel at all embarrassed about being truthful and letting someone know where they stand. He should have had the courtesy to do the same with you. Then everything is out in the open and stupid games aren’t being played.

    I commend you for what you did!

    • Thanks Tierney! It’s just hard because you never know with some guys — they want you to not play hard to get, then when you are yourself, they become weird.

      Whatever LOL!

  2. That source quote is correct. Consider spending more time alone and possibly speaking with a professional to sort out things from your past relationship. Best wishes.

  3. Whatever, you said you liked him, it’s no big deal, it’s not like you said you loved him to death and couldn’t live without him and thought he as your soulmate….lol

    I think he probably knows you like him anyway. Maybe I’m an idiot but I don’t see how this could hurt you.

    • @bianca, *blush* it just is something that is in the back of my mind. we all react to things differently i suppose which is why it bugs me.

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