There is something I haven’t divulged about the Stamp Man situation.
And I think I made a massive mistake. I haven’t even told my friend’s because I am really embarrassed…
Prior to going to Paris, it was my mother’s birthday and she came to London for the weekend. It was great. I texted SM to say that I was going away to Paris. He texted me back saying he is sorry he went AWOL and that he hoped I had a good time with my mum.
When I came back from Paris, I really was determined to forget all about him and not text him. Can’t say I stuck to that promise because during a weak moment in my house, I texted him to ask how he was. I didn’t get an answer for a few days.
**This is too embarrassing to admit but…**
The lack of reply just…disappointed me. I thought he was someone who could have been a nice friend, because how he had come across. So finally, I just sent him another text just to say that in all honesty, I did like him and that I hoped he had a good time at university, but that I wouldn’t be spamming him anymore.
He replied to me saying “Hey it’s nothing personal but I have been really ill”. He went on to say he hadn’t been to lectures in a whole week etc. I texted him back wishing him to get better and that was that. I haven’t heard from him since and I don’t expect to.
My question is was it a mistake to tell the guy that I liked him? I found this interesting thing online about asymettry in relationships:
By telling his guy how much you liked him, while being honest, it probably also reflected an asymmetry (you liked him more than he liked you). Such asymmetries often scare people away. The implicit logic goes like this: If you like me so much, but I don’t like you as much, perhaps you are not my equal, and therefore, I can and should date someone better than you.
I feel like the quote above is very true.
I feel embarrassed that I was getting too into him and showing that to him, but I am not embarrassed that I had a crush on him.
It’s hard to put into words, but my relationship with my ex boyfriend devastated me and my standards for relationships became so low. I didn’t have a relationship with SM that’s true, but I think what this has taught me is not to wear my heart on my sleeve, because some men will take advantage of that and use the situation to hurt you.