I’m the oldest of my siblings born to my mother and the only girl. (My father has more kids than can be counted on 1 hand, but I digress.) I think that under the circumstances, I’ve done allright for myself. I’ve been on my own for quite some time – job/career, automobile, place to live, finished school, child-free, solo traveler, etc. I would think that many parents would be happy that their son or daughter was able to live out in the world and be self-sufficient, no matter whether they’re aged 21 or 61.
Apparently not. 😐
My oldest younger brother could be doing worse, but he’s definitely not doing stellar. He’s very intelligent but he doesn’t utilize it very much. Once he hit high school, he seemed to be more concerned with popularity than passing classes. He made it out of high school by the skin of his teeth but of course he looked good doing it, because goodness forbid he didn’t look good before he left the house. 😐 During high school, he was offered a chance to get into a well-known medical school program in which students were accepted upon high school graduation and finished everything in 7 years, becoming doctors in their 20s. He did excellent on certain tests, but his class grades didn’t match the tests and were so bad that the school couldn’t accept him. His grades were bad because it was more important to be cute and popular.
He graduated and went on to college out of state. He only lasted 1 year. He was cute and popular there too – to the point that he had zero credits. Oh, I forgot to mention – toward the end of his high school career, he met a girl and had sex with her within hours of meeting her. She got pregnant and decided to carry the pregnancy to term, my nephew. Isn’t life grand.
He returned home and tried community college. He only did 1 semester before deciding to quit. Instead, he met a woman, married her 6 months later, and joined the military without telling anyone until a couple days before he left for training. He cheated through their whole marriage, but they still had a son. Toward the end of the marriage, he met another woman, lied about his marital status, and ran off with her while filing for divorce. He got the other woman pregnant before the divorce was finalized and they had a son. They got married and later, had another son. But you get what you ask for because she didn’t leave after he admitted his true status, and he cheated on her too. Now he has a new girlfriend.
Please note that this is a very short version of the story. 😐
You would think that any parent in their right mind would not condone this behavior because, after all, “I didn’t raise my child this way!” But there are plenty of mothers who support this behavior….. whether knowingly or unknowingly, whether explicitly or implicitly, whether overt or covert. Our mother in particular blames the women for his troubles because, after all, he tripped and fell in the p—y. Or the women seduced him. Right mothers? Isn’t that why your sons have “baby muhva/mama drama”? 😐
This is more common than many want to believe. Mothers place their sons on pedestals and enable all kinds of dysfunctional behavior. Then the cycle continues and the ones who are most affected are the innocent children.
Have any of you had the same experiences? If you’re a man, have you experienced mommy dearest doting on you, spoiling you? How has it affected you? How has it affected the relationships between you and your parent(s) and between you and your siblings?
“Boys are loved and girls are raised.”