Note to Charcoal Readers #2: I’m Still Gutted…


mike lamp

[Image Credit: The Floacist]

I am surprised at how subdued I have been this week. The truth is, I have been absolutely gutted by what has happened to Michael. I didn’t think it would affect me so much. Even the day after he passed, I didn’t really think about it much at all and even a few days after, I just tried to get on with things.

But it is almost like this week has slapped me into the reality that he really did leave this world and I am still gutted by what has happened. I think the one thing about Mike’s death has meant that lots of bandwagoners have jumped on (YouTube is the best example of this), but I honestly was never like that and I know a lot of people who read this blog are not bandwagon fans either. As some of you know, I was ecstatic to be going to Michael’s O2 concert. I couldn’t wait.

What I’m trying to say is that losing this man means that I’m very sad about it. Obviously, life goes on but I have to say, for real fans who felt a connection to his music, this has been an awful week.

Which means that I still haven’t finished writing about him. I realise that the blog has become just about him for the moment but please bear with me as I try and get my thoughts out. I don’t have anyone else in person to discuss Mike’s legacy, so again, please bear with me as I write it on the blog.

As always, I welcome your comments.

–Aulelia

P.S — I heard about the La Toya mess and I am going to avoid discussing the alleged homicide until the police confirms it.

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4 thoughts on “Note to Charcoal Readers #2: I’m Still Gutted…

  1. Girl, this is your blog, so write as much as you want! It’s like therapy. I also don’t have anyone personally who feels as badly as I do. They feel bad, but not the major grief I am experiencing. However, I did hear his music in a store yesterday, and I felt more happy than sad.

    I have to admit, I wish I watched more of Michael’s interviews and read his books when he was alive. They give so much insight into the great person he was. I love him now more than ever, and I am truly horrified about the way he was treated. And his videos, oh my God, I’m just now rediscovering his incredible talent! However, I definitely appreciated him and his music while he was alive, and I never believed those nasty rumors about him. His kind heart and love for children always stood out to me, even with the reclusiveness and wild speculation. I never doubted him, and for that I will always be grateful.

    I have noticed my sadness has a lot of anger to go along with it nowadays. It’s just so unfair what happened to him. I have a burning desire for Michael’s name to finally be cleared.

    Aulelia, thanks for having this space where fellow Mike fans can gather and sort our emotions. I will never stop holding the torch for him.

    • @Aisha,

      Thanks for your kind words. I just didn’t want any people to think that I was bandwagoning or something because I am not. I sincerely have always loved this guy’s music. And I was devastated when I heard the news. To be honest, I was heartsick over it this whole week.

      But I feel like I really want to celebrate all the amazing shit Mike has done, because he really was one accomplished PERSON! Not just professionally, but socially as well.

      I have been watching so many interviews on YT so I will be posting loads in the days to come and in the future in general. I will be blogging about him long after the aftermath of what has happened.

      Mike fans are welcome to come to congregate here!

  2. Actually Aulelia, it’s been more than TWO weeks since his death.

    I’ve cried everyday for Mike, but this week, I’ve been more angry by US media coverage of his life & death, and in my general conversations especially with white folks. Let’s just say they are are a lot more people who hate me as a result. I am a fierce defender of Michael Jackson’s legacy. And if anyone dares to disparage him in my presence, they’re in for a verbal throttling.

    • @pnc, did you see that guy O’Reilly or something? He’s a hater in my eyes.

      I think it’s really important for people to defend what Mike has created so good on you. If anyone opens their mouth to chat shit, they need to be retrained and educated.

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