Boulevard of Broken Dreams

Today’s my birthday. It is always a bittersweet day because it was also the last day I ever spoke to my father in 2000. He called me and a month later, he died of a stroke. I heard from my mum in who is in Uganda, my cousin Jenny in Kenya (which was lovely), and I received texts from my brother Muga and older sister Kemi, who are both in Tanzania. In particular, my brother and older sister are loyal and never forget me. This day is always a subdued day and today, I feel happy that I am still alive, but I also am feeling anxious about my future.

I have not shared my real dreams with many peoples. I have spoken a little about my ideas for myself such as my MA project which is starting a careers website. I have been doing a lot of cold calls and work for that. I hope it becomes successful. I know they say you should never share your dreams with people or tell them what you want to do. All I know is I want to work for myself. I want to help people create opportunities for themselves. That’s my passion and it lies in creating career information for people, through my attempts at entrepreneurship.

I just feel like I am not getting there, despite my persistence to call people and set up meetings. I either get emails saying no, or people never return my calls or I just have to keep calling them. Take this example:

One person at a government agency said he would return my call. I called back after 3 days. The receptionist tells me he will call me back. A few days later, no call back. I then emailed him. No answer. I will just leave it. It frustrates me because I know that my idea for a careers website has the potential to help someone find direction, so it is a dampening when someone who can help, does not want to.

I just know that this is what I want to do. I want to be my own boss. But most of all, I want to create this careers resource to help people reach their potential. I am always asking my friends about what their career paths are, that it has got to the point where they jokingly call me a ‘careers advisor’. I don’t want to work in recruitment sales or anything like, I am still passionate about media. I just want it to be like media + careers.

I think on my birthday today, it has just reminded me that I have a lot more work to do. I need to be more focused and think about the sacrifices my mum and dad made. Even though he is no longer here with us, he always told me and my siblings to Go For Gold and achieve what we wanted.

I am hoping I can make my MA careers project a success. It can just be disheartening when you feel like you are working so hard, but getting nowhere. I will writing on the blog more about my MA project and my stories of me trying to make it successful. Any advice is always appreciated.

When I look at the stories of the X Factor runners up, as shown here on The Times, all that glitters is not gold. But I just know that I need to do my own thing, my own way. If I could be my own boss in 5 years time, I would be happy.


10 thoughts on “Boulevard of Broken Dreams

  1. Happy Belated! Be patient with yourself. Take your time and know that it won’t happen overnight. I can be hard, but worth it. Keep up the good work and stay strong and focused. You’ll make it happen.

  2. Happy Birthday Aulelia!

    I just want to say – don’t be discouraged. Success takes time. I was recently reading about a new book that has come out called Outliers:10,000 hours, by Malcolm Gladwell, which goes on to explain that the difference between mediocrity and true success is 10,000 hour of work.

    Now I know it’s not as simple as putting the time in but remember that “excellence of any sort is placed beyond the reach of indolence.” So keep on trying. You’ll get where you want to go!

    • @Cherry Lola: Thanks so much for your kind words 🙂 I have heard of that malcolm gladwell book, so deffo thanks for the tip. I think it can just be hard when you feel like you are not achieving but I will try!

  3. I stop by periodically, and when I do, you always mange to be a refreshing presence. There is something about you, that reminds me of myself when I was your age, so I feel a kinship. You’re fabulous birthday girl! Never be afraid to show your enthusiasm. Never be afraid to try new things. Never be afraid to go in a different direction. And yes, start your business. My biggest beef with smart, creative black women like yourself is that they seem so hell-bent on supporting others and building their empires instead of carving out a space in the world for themselves. I guarantee you it will be a difficult journey, but a rewarding one.

    • @benicio is mine: Thanks for your advice. It really is appreciated. I think I was just feeling a bit down, but I am definitely going to give this the best go possible.

  4. Aulelia,

    It’s always the successful people who worry that they aren’t moving along fast enough. I have full confindence that you will make your dream a reality. And I’m sure that your dad is very proud of you. 🙂


    • @Monie, what you wrote has me so emotional. Those were really lovely words for you to say. Even though I have never met you, I am thrilled that I got to know your through your blog.

      Birthdays always have me subdued, for some reason. I hope to get the ball rolling quicker but I am very impatient. I think one reason I was feeling more unhappy was because I just like felt things weren’t working out but I also don’t have many entrepreneurial friends to talk to about my problems so I think I will be using the blog as an outlet more.

      Thank you

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