Hair Rants!
I don’t think I will be going to the hair salon for a long time! I went there a while back, needless to say it was not a great experience. You know that feeling when you go to the hair salon and you feel like the stylist just thinks your hair is butters ? That is how it felt. I felt embarrassed and just really uncomfortable. To cut a long story short, I don’t think I will be going back to the hair shop for a while. I feel like to an extent, black people are still slightly prejudiced/reticent about natural hair. All I wanted was a blow out (not straight) and she just made me feel like I didn’t know anything about hair (which I don’t but come on, make the customer happy!)
Granted, I have a lot to learn about being natural but isn’t that the whole point of being on a natural hair journey ? I don’t pretend to know anything concrete about being natural but even though my hair is not on tip-top condition, I have learnt a few things. I just did not like that feeling of going there. Next time, I am just going to settle for my own fingers or ask my friends to help me out with my hair. I want to stay natural without feeling embarrassed.
I know I need to get my hair trimmed, that is true! But how much ? My afro has grown in the front but it is really short in the back ? I don’t want to get rid of all of the front. Help!
The Lessons I have learned since being Natural
1. People will think you are Afrocentric: I don’t have a problem with being associated with Afrocentrism (because Africa is beautiful) but why do people just assume quickly without asking ?
2. Many naturals in Bristol are not African: Now, I know this general assertion will rile some people up but it is true from what I have seen! I live in Bristol and most black women here are not natural and wear weaves of some sort. I have also noticed that hardly any Africans are natural. Does it really matter it an African girl is natural or not ?
3. Dr. Miracle Cream is my friend: Ever since my friend P introduced me to this, I am convinced that it works really well for me. My hair goes through phases; first it liked Dax now it is loving Dr. Miracle.
4. The cold English weather makes hair dull: It rains so much in England and is so cold here, especially in Bristol! I am convinced this weather is not helping my natural hair aims. Then again, I need to improve my diet too!
In terms of beauty, I went through a stage of wearing loads of makeup but now I don’t as much. I have started using E45 Cream for my face and I cannot sing its praises enough. E45 Cream is the way to go! I find when I use it, I don’t break out as much as I used to. I really need to stick to it.
Any advice on hair and trimming please share in the comments!
[Update: For jerserybred & other readers interested in what happened –> It was the stylist’s tone with how she was talking to me that I did not like. She was condescending and indifferent, which hurt my feelings greatly because I would assume someone who owns a hair shop would be passionate about hair! She kept saying how my hair needed trimming over and over in a caustic tone and then when I said I wanted a blow out but not straight, she was like, you should have told me and I did tell her not straight!}
March 23, 2008 at 1:40 pm
Are there any natural hair salons in Bristol? I think you have to find a stylist that is pro-natural, which can be very difficult. This is why many natural women end up doing their own hair.
Do you deep condition your hair with a moisturizing conditioner? That’s a crucial step.
Here is a helpful hair article:
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/288340/hair_regimen_building_for_newbies.html
Hang in there! I know it’s not easy being natural in a world of chemicals.
March 23, 2008 at 2:10 pm
@Aisha, thank you so much for the encouragement. What do you do with your hair ?
I don’t deep condition; that is something I have to start doing.
I don’t think there are any natural hair salons in Bristol, let alone, the south west. I wonder if any exist in London…hmm
What do you do concerning trimming ? Do you trim every 6 - 8 weeks ?
March 23, 2008 at 6:11 pm
When I was a loose-haired natural, I trimmed my own hair. Most non-natural hairdressers don’t know a damn thing about caring for our hair. I couldn’t be bothered with them, especially when they’d say “You need a perm.” So I started doing it (and other hair care stuff) myself.
I’m now a dreadhead
and have been so for about 3 years now.
March 23, 2008 at 8:51 pm
Aulelia, it is sad to hear you had a bad experience at the black hair salon. I have to admit I have my own fear I haven’t been to the barbers for the longest time! I don’t know I just don’t want to visit the barbershop! My sister insists I should go to get a proper hair cut but I cut my hair myself.
March 23, 2008 at 11:42 pm
I have worn my hair in some form of a natural style for at least 30 plus years.
I have worn dreads, braids, different sizes of the “Afro” and twists.
It is true that people automatically assume a lot about black women are afrocentric~even when that is not necessarily true.
I go to a barber at least once a month if I am wearing a traditional afro style. If not then I get out my scissors and trim the ends of my hair even.
You are using a good product. I have heard a lot of positive feedback about the results.
Doing your own hair just really requires patience and some work. I usually shampoo and deep condition on a regular basis. I also still use the same hair dressing that I did as a child~Royal Crown. It is still a good scalp conditioner.
I do not like beauty salons period. I did not like them even when I was a chid. So I can relate to how you felt.
March 24, 2008 at 12:46 am
well i think sometimes we know are hair better than others especially when it comes to natural. Since I have been natural I havent went to a salon yet…but i will be going to one that specializes in natural hair!
1. people do assume people are afrocentric just b/c there natural…NOT TRUE!
2. Seeing that I live in England at the moment I’ve notice there are a lot of Africans that are not natural I often get a lot of looks from African women due to my hair. Also one chick asked how i got my hair this way…i was actually surprised.
3. Most of the products i use on my hair is Shea Butter…i do not use anything greasy…the closes i get to grease is a hot oil treatment and that aint grease lol.
4. I notice the weather is always changing here and very windy…so I recommend twisting your hair or putting in some style where it’s not out all the time. Also moisturize each day and keep it protected…I wear a cute little hat.
About the skin since I’ve been in England i notice that water has made some changes to my skin. I have some scarring on my face…so i put natural shea butter on my skin everyday and it’s been clearing up!
hope these suggestions help!
March 24, 2008 at 4:14 am
Sorry about your bad experience, but what did she say/do to make you feel bad (only if you care to retell it).
This site is great for natural hair and she also has trimming trips.
http://motowngirl.com/content/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=6&Itemid=33
March 24, 2008 at 1:44 pm
@ph2072: Omg, they actually said ”you need a perm”! What the hell is WITH those sorts of comments ? I don’t understand the logic of starting a hair shop and yet spewing that kind of hatred! Are dreadlocks easier to maintain for you ?
@Orville: Do you have your hair in an Afro or do you experiment a lot with your hair ?
@ladydeborah: Thanks for your tips! Do you worry that when you trim lots off that it will take longer to grow ?
@memphizsoul: the water in england is really bad! better drink volvic or evian from sainsbury’s and tescos even if it is 60p! Thank you for your suggestions especially the one on shea butter and twisting my hair.
@jerseybred: I hope the updated section in the post clarified wihat happened. she was just so rude and horrible. sometimes looks are worse than words!
March 24, 2008 at 10:52 pm
@ Aulelia, I no longer have hair I just have my head but I used to have hair. I thought about growing my hair out and all that stuff but for me a low fade is more manageable.
March 24, 2008 at 11:18 pm
Hey Aulelia. Most of the time I wear my hair in twists and twistouts. I deep condition every 2 weeks because I have bleach highlights. Prior to that I mostly wore braid extensions.
As for trimming, I do it myself about every 10 weeks. In between that I hunt for random split ends and chop them off. Also, I recently bought a pair of scissors that were made just for cutting hair. They were cheap ($2) but they do the job. Having a very sharp pair of scissors is key. I hate losing length but split ends scare me more, lol.
March 25, 2008 at 3:53 pm
@orville, low fade — is that easier to cut yourself
@aisha, thanks for posting your regimen! it is eye-opening. how big is your hair when it is a twist-out
March 25, 2008 at 4:34 pm
Well my hair is 10-12 inches around (when stretched). So I have a fair amount of length. My hair is actually fine but because it’s natural it gives it a big, poofy look. I love kinky natural hair, lol.
March 26, 2008 at 3:17 am
Thank you for the update, tone does make a difference..hopefully you can find another stylist who cares for natural hair.
March 27, 2008 at 2:32 pm
I am a black American female and I just found you blog. We see eye to eye on so many issues. I think the internet can be used to spread the idea of Pan Africanism.
On to the hair, you must go to a person who specializes in natural hair. We have had a full generation of permed sista’s, many who know how to style and put the weave in, but not have mastered black hair care in its natural state. I mean look at our hair care magazines, its all weaves, perms and biracial women.
March 27, 2008 at 3:50 pm
@politically incorrect, thank you for commenting
You are absolutely right about the permed sisters. They do not get it and it means that natural girls need to work on it ourselves.
March 29, 2008 at 9:00 am
Girl, every single place I’ve been to in the past 20 years says “you need a trim” even if I just got one! It seems like they take pleasure in making you feel bad about yourself, and your former choice of stylist.
They are full of s__t. But that one you went to sounded extra rude…hope you don’t go back.
I am natural and like Dr. Miracle’s too, and Creme of Nature Organics.